Mr. Good
详细内容
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Icould’vekickedmyselfforchasingawomanbassplayerallthewaytoCincinnati:amonthafterIgotthere,Ileftherforatwenty-three-year-oldgroceryclerk.Afewweekslaterthatwasover,too,andIdidn’tevenhavemoneyforabusticketbacktoDallas.Ihadn’tbeenabletofindagigsinceI’dmoved.Itriedfindingworkinamusicstore,andthenstartedapplyinganywhereandeverywhere—fastfood,motels,conveniencestores—andfinallytostayoutofahomelessshelterIhadtopawntheonlyoneofmyguitarsworthmuch,a1965GibsonHummingbird.Istayeddrunkfortwodays.ThenIstartedworkingdaylaborsoIcouldgetitback.Iwasmixingmortarandcarryingbricks,whichIhatedbecauseitmessedwithmyhands.ThesecondweekIsmashedathumbnail.
EverydayIwenttothepawnshoptomakesuretheguitarwasstillthere.Theownerlookedlikeavaguelydegenerateantiquedealerinamovie.Heworeavest.
EverymorningIgotupatfiveandmadethehalf-hourwalktothetempservice,atrailersetupinagravellot.TheplacelookedlikeausedcardealershipwithoutanycarsandtheownerwasabigthickguynamedPurcellwhowasquicktoletyouknowhewasretiredNavy.Thewholesetupwasprettyshady.Paywasalwaysincashandyouhadtogettherebeforedawntogetajob.ExceptformethecrowdwasallMexican,illegalsI’mprettysure.Theystayedtothemselves,soI’dstandalonewhilewewaitedforPurcelltoshowupandsmokeanddrinkcoffeeandthinkabouthowIwasgoingtosmashtheguitaroveralowbrickwallonceIgotitback.MyfathergaveittomewhenIwaseighteen.Oneafternoon,1979,whenmyhighschoolletouthewasintheparkinglotsittingonthehoodofanoldLincolnhe’dparkedsidewaysacrossfivespaces.Youcouldn’tmisshimanywayyoulooked.HewasdressedinthesameoutfitHankWilliamswasburiedin.Ihadn’theardfromhimforsevenyears.
ItoldmyfriendsIwassupposedtomeetwithateacherandwentbackinsideandhidinthebathroom—IfiguredifIwaitedlongenoughhe’dleave.ThejanitorranmeoutoftheresoIwouldn’tinterferewithhisdrinking.Ikilledsometimewalkingthehalls,thenfoolingatmylocker.Finallytheassistantprincipalwhowaslockingupmademeleave.
Hewasstilloutside.Itwasdesertednow.Hesmiledandwaved.
"ThoughtthatwasyouIsaw,"hesaid."FiguredI’dwait."
Inodded.Ididn’tknowwhattosay.
"Ihearyou’regettingreadytobeahighschoolgraduate,"hesaid.
Inoddedagain.
"That’srealgood."Hecockedhishead,lookingatmeandsmiling."Yourgrandmadon’tmindyourhairbeingthatlong?"
"Shehasn’tsaidanything."
"FirsttimeIcameinwithaducktailshechasedmewiththescissors."Hetookapackofcigarettesfromhisinsidecoatpocketandrappeditonhiskneeandasinglecigarettejumpedhalfwayout,andifhehadn’tbeenmyfatherthatwould’vebeencoolashell.
Hewantedtogogetahamburger.TheinsideoftheLincolnsmelledlikeastripclubatsixAM.Theradiowasmissing.IremindedhimhowtogettoMcKenna’s,aplacethathadcurbservice.AfterwegotourdrinkshepouredpartofhisCokeoutthewindowandfilleditbackupfromapintofbourbonhepulledfromundertheseat.HeofferedmethebottlebutIshookmyhead.
"Don’tdrink?"heasked.
Ishrugged.
Henodded."Don’tseemtotalk,either."
Aftersevenyearsthatcrawledalloverme.Iturnedawayandstaredoutmywindow.
"Ahson,"hesaid,"Iknow,Iknow.I...well,"andthenIheardhiscupslosh.Iwaslookingoutatastationwagonwhereawomanwashandingaroundsoftserveconestoherkids.Alittleboyinthebackseatwaslookingbackatme.
"Yourgrandmatellsmeyou’replayingnow,"hesaid.
"Yeah."Istilldidn’tlookathim.
"What’reyoudoing?"
Iwasinabadcoverbandthatplayedsockhopsanddancesatcountryclubs.I’dbeenlisteningtoEarlKlughandWesMontgomery,too,tryingsomeofthatout.
"Notmuch,"Isaid.
Theboypulledhisnoseupwithhisthumbandgrinned.Hehadbraces.Hismotherhadonagreenscarf.
"Iguessyoudon’tgoinforBobWillsandsuch,"hesaid.
"No,"Isaid.
"Notmanydoanymore,"hesaid."That’swhythiscar’ssuchapieceofshit."
Thenneitherofussaidanything.Alongminutepassed,thenanother.Thelittleboykeptmakingfacesbetweenlicksofhiscone.Thenthemothercaughthim.Afteraglanceatme,shejerkedhimaroundbythecollar.
Iheardhimsplashbourbonintohiscupagain.
ThenthecarhopbroughtthetraywiththefoodandhungitonhiswindowandIfeltlikeIcouldfinallyturnaround.
"Anythingelse?"sheasked.Shewasbleachblondandpudgy—Irecognizedherfromschoolacoupleyearsbackbutdidn’tknowher.Shehadonwhitejeansandapinkshirtwiththetailstiedintoaknotbelowherbreasts.Whenyoulookedatherallyousawwasstomach.
"Youallgotanyicecreamleftinthere?"hesaid.
"Sure,"shesaid.
"Thengetyouoneandchargeitonmyticket.Girlwholookssweetascakeneedssomeicecreamtogowithher."
Shegiggled.
"OrmaybeyouwantadrinkofthisspecialCo’-Colainstead?"heasked.
Sheleered,lookedleftandthenright."Sure,"shesaid.Hehandedherthecupandsheduckedherheadandtookadrink.
"Whentheyletyouoffhere?"hesaid.
"Notsoonenough,"shesaid."Thehorse’sassthatrunstheplacekeepsusherehalfthenight."
"Well,we’rebigboys,"hesaid."Wegettostayuplate."
Iopenedmydoorandgotout.Helookedaround."Hey,whereyougoing?"
Ishutthedoor.Myeyesmetthegirl’sovertheroofofthecar,thenIduckedmyheadinthewindow."I’vegottogo,"Isaid."I’llseeyou,"andIstartedawayfromthecar.
"Hey!"heyelled.
ButIdidn’tturnaround.HeyelledacouplemoretimesbutIkeptgoing.WhenIwasfarenoughawayIlookedback.ThegirlwasstillstandingattheLincoln.
Iwashopinghe’dbewaitingoutsidethehousewhenIgothome.Hewasn’t.
AweeklateranoticecamefromMartin’sDrugssayingIhadaTrailwayspackage.Itwasacardboardboxwrappedinbrownbutcher’spaperandtiedwithstring,lighttocarrybutaboutthesizeofShakespeare’scoffin.WhenIgotithomeandopeneditIfoundanewcalfskinguitarcasepackedinnewspaperandinsidethatwastheHummingbird.Theguitarwasingoodshape,butthewordsMrGoodwerescratchedintalllettersonthebackofthebody.Inthebottomofthecasewasanote:
Son
Iwontyoutohavethisafineinstrumintiboughtitnewin1965.MaybesomdaywecanplaytogethericanteechyousomeBobwills.Theonlythingaboutitisigotnoideehowthewritinggotonthebackiwokeupinamotelinoddessatex8yeeragoanditwasalmostniteandtheiritwasthisisstilagoodguitar.
Dad
Ihadn’theardfromhimsince.Ifhewasalivehe’dbesixty-three,andtheolderIgotthemoreIwishedIcouldseehim.We’dhavesomethingtotalkaboutnowthatI’dmadeeverymistakehehad.
OnceIwaslivingwithapsychologistandshestartedribbingmeaftershesawhowItooksuchgoodcareoftheGibson.BettertakeMr.Goodtosoerpractice,she’dsay,orMr.GoodsayshewantstoorderChinese.Ifshehadn’tbeensogood-lookingIwouldn’thaveputupwithher—she’dehomeaftercounselingalldayandmakeastrologychartsonherclientsandsmokepot.ShefinallydrankenoughcoffeeonemorningtothinktoaskhowIgottheguitar.Itoldherthestoryaboutmydad.
"That’scute,"shesaid.
Ijuststaredather.
"Whatisit?"shesaid.
Ishookmyhead.
"No,whatisit?"sheasked,almosthysterical.
"Nothing,"Isaid."Justlookingatyourhair."
***
Itwascold.IwasinPurcell’slot,smoking,drinkingcoffee,half-listeningtotheSpanishtalkallaroundme.Ihadsevenhundreddollarsinmysocks—aftergettingpaidtodayI’dhaveenoughtogettheGibsonback,andafterMondayandTuesdayI’dhaveenoughtogobacktoDallas—andthensuddenlyanangryshoutcamefrombehindthetrailer,thenanother.Thelotquicklyfellsilent.ThentheSpanishstartedupagainandmostofthemenwalkedoverandlookedbehindthetrailerbutassoontheydidtheystartedleaving,somerunning,andinabouttwominutestheplacewasdesertedexceptforme.
Ikeptwatchingthetrailer,aboutfifteenyardsaway.Nothing.Icouldn’thearanythingeitherbutthehumofthearclights.Ididn’tknowwhattodo.Iwaskindofscared,butIhadtotrytoworkthatday,nomatterwhat,soIdecidedtostaywhereIwasandwaitforPurcelltoshowup.Istartedtolightanothercigarette,thenfootstepssoundedonthegravelandamanstaggeredaroundthesideofthetrailer.HewasclutchinghissideandwhenhesawmehesaidsomethinginSpanish.Hewasbig,atleastthreehundredpounds,andlookedlikeabearingtowardme.Thenhejuststoppedandstoodthere.Icouldhearhisbreathing.Hesanktohiskneeslikeacamelsittingdownandfellover.
ForaboutahundredandfiftydollarsIwould’veleft.Butthereweren’tanyphilanthropistsinthevicinity.Iwentovertohim.HehadrolledontohisbackandwhenhesawmestandingoverhimhestartedtalkinginSpanish.Hehadaripinthesideofhisthinjacketandthereweredarkstainsaroundit.Itookoffmydenimcoatandkneeleddown,andwhenhesawwhatIwasdoinghemovedhishandsandletmeusethecoatasapress.Somewarmbloodsoakedintothedenim,butnotmuch.Heseemedmorepanickedthananything.Hejustkeptonjabbering.
ThenIheardothervoices.TwoMexicanswerestandingafewyardsaway,attheedgeofthelight.
"Hablaingles?"Icalledout.
"Nomuch,nomuch,"thetallerofthetwosaid.
Igothimtoholdthejacketinplaceandrightawayheandtheinjuredmanstartedtalking,arguingitsoundedlike.IranthethreeblockstothestorewhereImadeapointofbuyingmycoffeeeverymorningbecauseIlikedthewaytheclerklooked.Iaskedhertocall911.
"Sorry,thephone’snotpublic,"shesaid.
"Areyoukidding?"Isaid.
Sheshookherhead."That’stherule."
"Butaguy’sbeenknifedorsomething."
Shehesitated,thenlookedatherwatch,apinkthingthesizeofacoaster."Mymanager’sduehereanyminutenowandhesaysyoucan’tletthephohinggetstartedorpeople’llbeaskingtouseitallthetime."Shelookedovermyshoulder."Couldyoumove,please?"
Isteppedoverbutstayedatthecounterandanoldblackguyinabaseballcapmovedupandgavehernumbersforalotteryticket.
"Soyou’renotgoingtocall?"Isaid.
"No,"shesaid.
IwentoutsideandpickedupthereceiveronthepayphoneonthesideofthebuildingandputittomyeareventhoughIknewitwasdead.Iaskedtwopeoplegoingintothestoreiftheyhadcellphones—bothshooktheirheads,thoughonehadhisinaholsteronhisbelt.ThenIranbacktothetempservicebecausetherewasn’tanotherpayphonenearbyandIdidn’tknowwhatelsetodo.
Purcellwasthere.HehadhisheadlightsdirectedontothesceneandhestoodintheirbeamsnexttotheinjuredmanandthetwoMexicanswhoweresquattingoverhim.Theshorterone,whoIcouldnowseewasanolderman,wascrying.
"Ican’thavethiskindofhellinggoingonhere,"Purcellwassaying.
"Mr.Purcell,"Isaid.
Hejerkedhisheadaroundandsquintedintotheheadlights."Hey,who’sthere?"Herecognizedme."Sodidyouseewhathappenedhere?"
"No.IjusttriedtocallanambulancebutIcouldn’tfindaphone."
Hewavedlikehewasshooingafly."Icheckedhim,hedoesn’tneedone.It’dbeawasteofthetaxpayers’money.Allhe’sgotisalittlelardslicedoff."Thenheputhishandsonhishipsandstareddownattheman.Hehadonawhiteshortsleeveshirtandadarktie;Ihadneverseenhiminacoat,nomatterthetemperature."Hey,"hesaidloudlyandallthreeMexicanslookedupathimandhespoketotheminbrokenSpanish.Thetalloneholdingmyjacketanswered.
AordingtoPurcell’stranslation:thetwoMexicanswhohadstayedwerefromthesametowninMexicoastheinjuredman,andtheolderonewashisuncleorcousinorsomething.TwodaysagothetallMexicanhadheardthattheinjuredman—wholookedatleastthirty—hadgottensomeone’steenagedaughterpregnant.ThetallMexicanwasn’tsurewhothegirlwas,buthe’dheardthere’dbeenablowupwithherfather.
"Ididn’tthinktherewasanybodyleftwhocaredaboutthat,"Purcellsaid.HetookoutapackofJuicyFruitandputastickinhismouth.Hestareddownattheman,hisfaceabrownstudy.Icrossedmyarmsandhuggedmyself.Iwasfreezing.
"Thishasimplications,"Purcellsaid.
"Weshouldprobablycallanambulance,"Isaid.
"Wemightdothat,"hesaid."Butwe’vegottomovehimoffthispropertyfirst."
Ididn’tsayanything,butPurcelljerkedhisheadaroundlikeIhad.
"Justbecausethispussel-gutdecidestotapsomeMexicancheerleader,Ishouldhavetopaydoubleandtripleonmyliabilityinsurance?Andasforthepolice,"hesaid,"what’dyouthink:Columbo’sgonnashowuphereatdawn?"Hepulledawallet-on-a-chainoutofhisbackpocketandstartedspeakingSpanishagain.WhenhefinishedallthreeMexicansnodded.Theoldonewipedhiseyeswiththebackofhishand.ThenPurcelltookouttwofifty-dollarbillsandhandedooeachofthetwosquattingmen.Theybothspoketotheinjuredman,pattedhimontheshoulder,thenstoodupandleft.Purcellbentovertheinjuredmanandslippedtwobillsintohispantspocket.Hespoketohimandthemananswered.Purcellreplied,hisvoiceangry.Themanshookhisheadbackandforthontheground.PurcellstartedcursinginEnglish.Heturnedtome,"Sackofshitsayshecan’tgetup."
"Huh,"Isaid.
PurcellgavethemanalittlekickinthehipandsaidsomethinginSpanish.Thenhegrabbedtheman’sarmandtriedtohaulhimup.Hedidn’tbudge.Hewasdeadweight.Purcelldroppedhisarm."Allright,"hesaid,"yougethisshouldersandI’llgethislegs,"andhesteppedaroundthemantohisfeet.Ididn’tmove.
Hewaved."eon,let’sgo."
"That’smycoatthere,"Ipointed.
"Yeah?So?"hesaid.
"It’sruined,"Isaid.
Hisexpressiondeadenedashefigureditout,whichtookabouttwoseconds.Heshookhisheadandcursedagain.Hetookouthiswalletandhandedoverafifty.
"Ineedahundredmore,"Isaid.
Ifeitherofushadbeensmokingthewholeblockwould’veexploded."Listen,"hesaid,"Iwouldn’tbepayinganybodyanythingifIcouldspeakenoughSpanishtomakethesetacosunderstandiftheydon’tdowhatIsayI’lltellthepolicewhateverIwant.Buteventhoughyou’reagoddamnbriaryouunderstandme,don’tyou?"
"Thepolicemighthasslemeonyoursayso,"Isaid,"butthat’saboutalltheycoulddo.Andthinkaboutit.IfIdoenduptalkingtothem,I’msuchabriarImightletitsliphowyourunastraightcashbusiness."
Heturnedhisbacktomeandstartedmuttering.Hestayedthatwayatleastahalf-minute.Thenheturnedbackaroundholdingoutfivetwenties.Hismouthwasverytight.
Liftingthemanwaslikepickinguponeendofarowboatfullofwater,ifyou’veeverdohat.Wecarriedhimtenyards,rested,thenwentthelasttenyardstothestreet.Purcelldroppedtheman’sfeetandstayedbentoverwithhishandsonhisknees,huffingandpuffing.Heglancedupatme,thenunhookedhiskeyringfromhisbeltandtosseditandithitthesidewalkrightinfrontofmeandIhadtodoaskiptokeepitfromhittingmyfeet."Movemycaruptothetrailer,"hesaid.
Ilookedatthekeys,thenathim."What?"Isaid.
"Doit,orI’lltellthecopsyourobbedme."Hetookhiscellphoneoutofhisbackpocket.
"Whydoyouwantmetodoit?"Isaid.
"JustbecauseIdo,"hesaid.
"Fetyou,"Isaid.
"Allright,"hesaidandpunchedabuttononthephone,andthat’swhenIthoughtofthesevenhundreddollarsinmysocksandhowgreatitwouldlookonaguywithoutacoat.
ThecarwasaCadillacinnameonly.ThelasttimeitlookedgoodEddieMurphywasfunny.Islidunderthewheel,butdidn’tclosethedoorsotherooflightwouldstayonandIcouldfindthings.Theseatwastoofarupformetofitmyfeettothepedals,soIreacheddowntofindtheleverandmyhandhitabottleundertheseat.Itwasahalf-pintofJackDanielsandallthatwasemptywastheneck.Iunscrewedthecap,bentoverlikeI’ddroppedthekeysandtookadrink,thensatupagain.Thegloveboxwasmissingitsdoor,acigarwithaninchofdeadashwasintheashtray,asinglepornoplayingcardwasinthepassengerseat,awomanwholookedlikeshewaswaitingforsurgerytobegin.Iturnedthecardover:sevenofclubs.Ibentoverandtookanotherdrink.IwasthinkingofthelasttimeIsawmyfather—oneoftheseoldboatsalwaysdidthat.
Idiscoveredtheseatwouldn’tmove,soImanagedtogetsituatedwithmylegssplayedoutoneithersideofthesteeringwheel.Ishutthedoor,thenpulledthecarupinfrontofthetrailerandcuttheengineandthelights.Istuckthehalf-pintdownthefrontofmypants.ThenIlookedintherearviewmirror:Purcellwasstillatthecurb,underastreetlight,standingovertheinjuredmantalkingandgesturing.Itlookedlikehewasharanguingacorpse.
Ileanedovertogetatmypantspocketandtookoutthehundredandfiftyandputitonthedashbehindthesteeringwheel.Ijustcouldn’tabidetheideaofhavingtothinkofPurcelleverytimeIplayedtheGibson.Iwould’veratherseenitinthehandsofCampfireGirls.
Thepawnshopopenedahalf-hourbeforetheliquorstores.I’dbeenwaitinginacoffeeshopacrossthestreet.IhadtheGibson’semptycalfskincaseandaEpiphoneinitscase.IwasgoingtopawntheEpiwhichwouldgivemethelastfiftyIneededtogettheGibsonback,plusanothersixtyorseventy.ThatmuchwouldgetmetoShreveport,andIfiguredIknewenoughpeopleinDallasIcouldfindsomeonewho’ddriveoutandgetme.
Iwentinthepawnshop,thebellringingovermyhead,andrightawayInoticedtheGibsonwasn’tonitsstandinthelineofguitarsthatsatonahighshelfintheback.HoldingthetwocasesIsuddenlyfeltlikeanidiotinaNormanRockwellpainting.Theemptyonefeltlightenoughtothrowthroughthedisplaywindow.
Theownerwasstillwearinghispeacoatandwasatthebackofthelongshotgunroombehindalineofjewelrycasestomyleft.Hecameupfront.
"It’sgone,"hesaid."Girlboughtitlastnightnotlongafteryoucamein."
Isetdowntheguitarcases.
"ShepaidcashsoIdon’tknowwhoshewas,"hesaid.
Iaskedhimwhatshelookedlike.
"Iwouldn’tkickheroutofbedforeatingcrackers,"hesaid.
Ikeptlookingathim.Icouldn’tbelievehehadsaidthat.Thenhegaveapoliceblotterdescriptionofthegirl—young,longbrownhair,skinny,pale,wearingjeansandagreenjacket,saidhewouldn’tcallherprettyexactly.Iaskedhim,ifshecamebackin,togivehermynameandtheplacewhereIroomedandtotellherI’dpaytogettheGibsonback.IsaidI’dpayhim,too,fordoingthat.
"OnceItellher,yougotnoreasontopayme,"hesaid.
"That’strue,"Isaid.
"Atwentyoughttotakecareofit,"hesaid.
IfeltsobeatIdidn’targue.Isquatteddownandliftedmypantslegtogetatmysock.Thebellrangandaguyinadirtyovercoatandcameinandsetdownakitbagandstartedpullingoutbarbertools.Istoodupandtheownertookmytwenty.Ipickedupmyguitarcasesandleft.
Walkingdownthestreet,freezing,IrealizedIcouldtakethemoneyIhadandbuyacoatandabusticketandbebackinDallasbymidnightorIcouldstayinCincinnatiandbuyacoatandtrytofindtheGibson.Ithoughtaboutitthreesecondsanddecidedtostay.
Icanplayguitarprettywell.AndI’vespenttwentyyearsworthofafternoonsinlibrarieskillingtimebeforegigssoIknowthedifferencebetweenAugustineofHippoandalltheotherAugustinesandIknowthatevenifwedoeupwithaunifiedfieldtheoryitisn’tgoingtochangeadamnthing.Butotherthanthat,Iwouldn’ttakemyownadviceaboutanything.