妈妈的微笑（Mom’s Smile）

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妈妈的微笑（mom’ssmile）

it’sanoldphotographwithbadpositionandlousycolor.theedgesarecurledupandbrown.butnoneofthatmatters.thephotoislacedwithpoignantmemoriessovividthatwhenmygazeslidesacrossit,tearsprickatthebacksofmyeyes.iamimmediatelytransportedtoaplacewhereonlygoodandbeautifulimagescanbefound,aplacewhereliferevolvesaroundlazyafternoonsspentonthebeach.inthismagicalplacemotherssharesecretswithdaughters,andgrandchildrengleanimmeasurablebitsofwisdomfromthecadenceofthewavesandthesofttonesofthewomentheylove.

ameremomentofourlives,tuckedneatlyintoasmallrectangleandpreservedforever-yearsbeforeanythingbadcamecalling.

inthephoto,thebeachspreadsoutoneitherside,afishingdocktotheleft,oneofcalcite’sgreatlimestoneboatsfaroutonthehorizon,andontheright,milesandmilesofundisturbedbeach.thephotoisalivewithchildrenandwomen:mothers,sisters,sonsanddaughters,niecesandnephews,grandchildren.thelonemaninthephotoismyfather.hisshadowstretcheslongandleanacrosstherestlessbluewatersoflakehuron.withimmensepatience,hecastshisline,againandagain.mytoddlerson,hisblondcurlsbleachedwhite,peersacrosstheendlessstretchofsand.mesmerizedbyhisgrandfather,hejetsdownthewetbeachasfastashischubbylegscancarryhim.hissistersgivechase.

amilliondancingwhitecapsbeemyriaddiamonds,strainingtooutshineoneanother.theglimmeringtrailsparklesonthevastandseeminglyendlessbodyofwaterthatstartsatmyfeetanddisappearsintothesky,whereseagullsdipandswirl,callingtooneanotherasananxiousmothercallstoawaywardchild.

achaiseloungedominatesthephoto.initawoman-mymother-reclines.momisspreadoutinthechairlikethick,sweetfrostingonacake.languid,herarmsraisedaboveherhead,herlegssplayed,pantlegsrolleduptoexposeagoodlylengthofpaleskin.herarmsarebare,theundersidespastyinparisontothetops.hersmileinreposeistender,sweet,unassuming,andpeaceful.

tomyknowledge,momneverownedabathingsuit.idon’trecalleverseeingherstepintothelake,andneverbeforehadshesunbathed.thatday,however,wasdifferent.itwasasifallhercareshadfloatedouttodeepwatersliketheunattendedbeachballhaddonejustminutesbefore.

wearealargefamily.whenmysiblingsandiwereyoung,dadwastheonewhotookustothebeach.hesatinthecarandwatchedaswefrolickedintheshallows.momstayedhometoensurewehadahotmealwhenwereturned.perhapsmomwashappyforthefewmomentsofaloimeathomeinthekitchen,aswasdad,aloneinthecar.

onthisday,theirgrownchildren,withchildrenofourown,treatthemtodinneronthebeach.dadfishesoffthedock,neverswayingfromhispleasantries.and,foronce,momfetsaboutmakingdinner.

itisadayofmemories,adaynevertobefotten.

mythreechildrenareinthephoto,anddadisinthebackground,asaretwoofmysistersandtheirchildren,buteveryonewhogazesatthepoorlydevelopedphotoisdrawninexplicablytomom’ssmile.inthephoto,herfaceisraiseduptothesky.tothesunortoourcreator,shealoneknows.hereyesareclosed.

irememberhowwarmitwasthatdayandhowshehadsquintedupatme,shieldinghereyeswithbothhands.

“aremylegsgettingred?”she’dasked.

myeyesbrimwithunshedtearsasirememberthefeelofherskinonthepalmofmyhand.hot.thescaldingtearsrundownmyface.howiwishicouldtouchheronemoretime.

“no,mom,”ireplied.“butbetterputsomesunscreenonbeforeyougetaburn.”reluctantly,she’dsatup,thepeacefulsmiledisappearing,androlledherpantlegsdown,again.

“saveitforthekids,”shesaid,hereyesscanningthegroupofchildrensplashinginandoutofthewater.thewhisperofasmiletouchedherlipsasshewatchedforalong,wistfulmoment.withasigh,sherosefromthechairandmovedtowardthecarwherethecoolersawaited.

“maybeweshouldgetlunchgoing,”shesaidassheopenedthefirstcooler.

nowitismyturntosmile.momwasnotreadytorelinquishdinnerduties,afterall.onawhim,iturnmyfaceheavenwardandclosemyeyes.idrawadeepbreathandsearchforthespecialplacemomfoundthatafternoon.itestomeeasily.withoutpomporceremony,theresheis,smilingagain.tearssqueezefrombeneathmyclosedlids,andiferventlypraythatanyonewhomighteuponmeatthismomentwillsaymysmileremindsthemofmom’ssmile,thatdayonthebeachsolongago.tender,sweet,unassuming-anddespiteourlossitwaspeaceful.•