保持关系(Relationship that Lasts)

详细内容

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ifsomebodytellsyou,“i’llloveyouforever,”willyoubelieveit?

idon’tthinkthere’sanyreasonnotto.wearereadytobelievesuchmitmentatthemoment,whateverchangemayhappenafterwards.asforthebeliefinaneverlastinglove,that’sanotherthing.thenyoumaybeaskedwhetherthereissuchathingasaneverlastinglove.i’dansweribelieveinit.butaneverlastingloveisnotimmutable.youmayunswervinglyloveorbelovedbyaperson.butlovewillchangeitspositionwiththepassageoftime.itwillnotremainthesame.inthecourseofyourgrowthandasaresultofyourincreasedexperience,lovewillbeesomethingdifferenttoyou.

inthebeginningyoubelievedaferventloveforapersoncouldlastindefinitely.byandby,however,“fervent”gavewayto“prosaic”.preciselybecauseofthischangeitbecamepossibleforlovetolast.thenwhatwasmeantbyaneverlastinglovewouldeventuallyendupinasortofinterdependence.weusedtoinsistonthedifferencebetweenloveandliking.theformerseemedmuchmorebeautifulthanthelatter.oneday,however,itturnsoutthere’sreallynoneedtomakesuchdifference.likingisactuallyasortoflove.bythesametoken,theeverlastinginterdependenceisactuallyaneverlastinglove.

iwishicouldbelievetherewassomebodywhowouldlovemeforever.that’s,asweallknow,tooromantictobetrue.instead,itwillmoreoftenthannotbeacaseoflastingrelationship.